Pleasant Surprise!


I came home from work today to find that Marcus had cleaned and dried my dirty dishes for me this morning. I love that we balance the chores. What a sweetheart. For all you single ladies and gents, love is out there! It will come sooner rather than later, perhaps when you least expect it 😉 Keep your head up high! You are beautiful, intelligent, and sexy. Broadcast it to the world. Nothing is more desirable than a confident chick. Hm, random thought. Does chick come across as derogatory to women? How do you personally feel about it?

That reminds me, I highly recommend “The 10 Women You’ll Be Before You’re 35.” It’s a great book that covers all the phases of a woman’s life. The single gal, the chamelon chick, the health guru, the worker bee — whatever the phase, the book covers it. It’s witty and inspirational. Check it out!

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3 Responses to “Pleasant Surprise!”


  1. 1 marvinthemartian September 13, 2008 at 12:33 am

    You said: “Who’s out there?” I’m out here.

    You are a confident chick! Keep writing – keep honing your style – it’s good.

    You’re just dabbing your toe in the water – jump in – it’s OK.

  2. 2 marvinthemartian September 13, 2008 at 1:22 am

    Well, I don’t know. For one thing, I would guess that you should write from the heart, and not be afraid to “put it out there.”

    I’d abandon this blog, and use an alias so you don’t have to worry about someone you know reading your inner-most thoughts – which I think is not only the best writing, but also the best therapy!

    Keep your picture off your blog too. You’re from a highly populated area – I know – I’ve driven through Jersey and NYC many times – it’s a cluster-fuck of humanity – which means you could have 25 psychos living within 500′ of you, and you’d never know they are checking you out, online. The way they stack people in the northeast ought to be illegal! It’s inhumane!

    But back to the question: I’ve read alot of blogs. In my opinion, the good ones engage the reader – because the writer is engaged in writing – and the writer is engaged in the writing process, because she (mostly)/he writes with reckless abondon – because the writer isn’t worried about someone discovering his or her inner-most thoughts.

    For example: one of the best blogs I’ve ever read (and I think she had it taken down for some reason) was by a college girl from Ontario who had over a million hits on her website. Every time she published a post, she’d get an immediate 35,000 hits. Here’s the most surprising fact about those stats: her blog was very non-sexual! She was just a damned good writer, who could write about anything, and make you want to read more.

    How do I think she did it? She just didn’t care what other people thought – nor did she care if people she knew – knew what she was actually thinking.

    One of her best posts, was about a time when she was in high school, and her family took a vacation in Cuba. She said she had a crush on this Cuban guy, and she struggled to understand what he was talking about because of his thick accent – but she didn’t want to let on, that she couldn’t understand every word he was saying – so to compensate, she hung on his every word and laughed when she thought it was appropriate – but didn’t know what she was laughing about.

    She wrote that this process of “faking” a conversation took up so much of her focus, she didn’t realize how bad she had to pee, and pissed herself right there on the barstool!

    I not only laughed at her for being such a dumb-ass, I laughed with her, because I eventually empathized with the embarassment she must have felt. The good thing is, she didn’t portray herself as a victim as she easily could have whined about how this was psychologically traumitizing – which I’m sure it was, at least temporarily – but it was her grit and her ability to just “put it out there,” that gave her such a huge fan base.

    I would have to say that in order to engage the reader, you have to engage yourself in the writing process – and I think that means letting it all hang out, just like Maya did.

    I think the most interesting blogs have writers who engage the readers on a different emotional level – and keep that emotional level consistent with its post.

    In one post, you might unapologetically “bitch-slap” the reader with some diatribe on something that really bugs you – and not worry about what people think about your opinion on the topic – just write it, “warts and all.”

    In another post, you might gently take the reader by the hand, and invite the reader into your world in a pleasing and comfortable manner. Make the reader your best friend in this instance.

    In each post, keep the theme consistent.

    Make a post, each time the thought strikes you, if you’re able. Think about what you’ll be writing (not the specific words, but the overall emotional tone) while you’re somewhere you can’t write a post.

    Make your posts frequent, and learn how to use tags, so people who are interested in the topic you’re currently posting about, can find your blog. Nothing gives you incentive to publish more posts, than to see the meter go up!

    When making posts frequent, realize not every post you make will be a masterpeice.

    Give yourself permission in advance – and as often as you can – to write really bad posts – and not be ashamed or embarassed by them – ever. If you really, really are ashamed of a post, remember: you’ve got the authority to delete it! If need be, use that authority and realize having that authority should increase your comfort level.

    If you were the type of person who dreaded open-ended writing assignments in school – and that attitude hasn’t changed, just read blogs, don’t write them.

    If you were the type of person who couldn’t wait to write an open-ended writing assignment – or if your attitude has changed about open-ended writing assignments because you want to experience the freedom of writing, without worrying about a grade – then this is for you, and you should definately develop it.

    By developing it, I mean taking an emotional peice, and giving it something like an essay-type structure, in terms of how far you’ll delve into the topic at-hand.

    Explore every possibility – but keep in mind – you don’t have to. It sounds like a contradictory statement, but it’s not – it’s the very definition of the freedom you have – if you choose to use it. It’s very theraputic.

    What was your proudest moment?
    What was your silliest moment?
    Why do you hate men?
    Why do you love men?
    When your best friend kicked you in the teeth.
    When you realized you had a best friend.
    An experience you had – that was so un-you – but you loved it!
    An experience you had that was so you – and you hated it.
    An experience you had that was so you – and you loved it – and yourself because of it.
    Your favorite travel story.
    Do you like flying? Did you ever descend through a thunderstorm upon landing? If so, were you scared, awed or both. Describe each emotion.

    It’s this type of thing.

    Tell me what you think.

  3. 3 sandrar September 10, 2009 at 9:00 am

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.


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